It is what it is.

Happy mother effing Tuesday!

How’s your day going? Waking up the river breakup looks awesome. Just kidding. I actually called it. We are north of the bridge and levels are rising, but I now live in the world of being unfazed. If it’s out of my control, then it’s business as usual.

We made it through Easter, spring break, two big birthdays, plus a volleyball tournament out of town, all within a week. One was cancelled due to the weather because Mother Nature is going through her luteal phase or something. She needs therapy. She crazy. We keep our relationship at arm’s length.

Speaking of, I do that with humans, too. Keep the positive people around you, and the negative and miserable can stay in their self-destructing corner. Are you one who sides on the positive or the negative? Pick a side and see how it works out for you. After all the shit I’ve been through, I know a red flag immediately, and that is kept far away from my peace, I don’t care what it takes. We have one life to live, unless you believe in reincarnation, so live it exactly how you want. Not for others, for you. I now make decisions for myself first, then my family. I’d say we are pretty even at the top of that priority list, but I put others first for a long time to try and keep the peace when I just ended up destroying my own, and in turn that had a domino effect on my family. My number ones in life. Seeing how I handle the situation best for myself sets the tone for everyone else. It’s crazy the power you can have over others. It’s a constant inner awareness. Does this person or situation bring you joy? Are you bringing the joy? Then make the decision for you and no one else. Being selfish is a fine line, but you have to find that line and ride it out.

Create that perfect balance.

Just kidding. You can’t. The number one question I get all the time is, how do you do it? I have tried it all, something’s always got to give. For example, last night I watched a show with my two youngest and didn’t unload or load the dishwasher, but will I regret not spending these moments with my kids OR that the kitchen was spotless? I wasn’t blessed with OCD, so the dishes can wait. I do wish I had a little of it, maybe I do? Or did? But I learned to lower my expectations. If you lower those, you will no longer be disappointed. Trust me. That includes yourself. You aren’t perfect, god knows I am far from it, but oh well. I am happy and living my best life, not giving a crap what others think. I just want to keep life simple. Live it happily, the best you can, and don’t go to jail. See, simple.

We left a strict religion, and I don’t get into the details much or dwell on it, but we lived a life being told how to live in every way. I never felt like I fit in with it; there was a bigger picture I could feel pulling at me. I questioned everything, and nothing made sense to me. I will get into this another time, but it taught me a huge life lesson. You will always have someone who disagrees with your decisions, so make sure you make them for you. We lost all our friends and were pretty much ghosted when we made the choice to leave, and we had to swallow that pill and move on, and we did. It was the biggest weight off our shoulders as a couple, and our children are all very educated in why we did. In doing this, it taught me to no longer worry about what others think and that in itself is so freeing. Just live your best life. Like I said, keep it simple. Stop dissecting everything. It ain’t that deep. If you are going through something, go through it. It is important to feel your feels. If you need to cry, scream or lose it, find your way to do that. I cry when I get frustrated, and I get mad when I’m hurt. My pain comes out as anger, and I was very misunderstood by the people closest to me. So I worked on myself in that regard, but I can’t change them and their perspective of me so, oh well. Screw em.

We found our new normal and lifestyle, plus a million more friends and circles. Finding your people is the best. I do keep my close circle very small when it comes to certain things. I can tell who has my best interest at heart and whose interests I have. Also, don’t tell me what to do. That probably stems from being told how to live my whole young life, not how I want to live it.

So back to chilling the crap out. Create that new routine in training. Be aware of how you think. Start with small situations, and eventually it will become a habit. Use your common sense and take into account what is most important to you and why. Does this person or situation frustrate you regularly? Then step back. Does this person bring you up, as I now say, “to my level”? I’m aware of what my level is as well as my standards. I am very strict with that. No questions, no wavering. Solid in my choices and not apologetic. It’s such a boost of confidence when you’re there. It’s a lot more fun too!

Now, Go put the tunes on, dance, sing, shake it out. Do. Not. Care.

Then move on, because “it is what it is.”

Now let’s go watch this river situation because Mother Nature is giving us a lot of live reality shows lately. Someone smack that B for me.

Photo credit: Pinterest